You meet, fall in love, and immediately dive headlong into a new relationship. But after a few months, when both of you have cooled down, you realize that there is something wrong with your relationship, not the right feelings, and not the right person at all.
How to avoid this? You have to talk! Namely, discuss some of the issues at the beginning of your relationship. https://bebemur.com prepared for you the list of must-ask questions in your love union.
What was your first impression of me?
They say first impressions are deceptive. So be it. The important thing is that your partner’s answer will show how he/she sees you and what girls/guys he/she likes, what human qualities attract, and what seems ideal to him/her. And if you’re careful, you’ll find out whether your partner accepts people’s flaws or just looks at everything through rose-colored glasses.
What do you prefer: a noisy party or a night in the close company?
Before you let feelings flare-up to their full potential, it’s good to have this information. Perhaps, your sweetheart prefers to chill in bars and restaurants while you like a quiet evening at home. Without mutual concessions, such a relationship is almost certainly doomed. Discuss this right away and plan evenings where you hang out together, both at home or somewhere away.
When did your last relationship end, and why?
It’s a personal question. But if your boyfriend/girlfriend is the kind of person who doesn’t know how to leave a relationship in the past or may date more than one girl/guy at a time, it’s better to find out now rather than a month or two into your relationship.
Do you have any flaws/weaknesses?
One of the positive aspects of a long-term relationship is knowing each other’s flaws and accepting them. Keep in mind to ask your lover if he/she is working on his/her “gaps.” Ask how he/she recovers in moments of weakness and what angers and irritates him/her even more.
What are you most afraid of?
Suppose there is a person who shares your fears, worries, who knows how to support you in a moment of despair! Knowing each other’s fears will help avoid the sharp edges and know when your loved one needs support.
What does your typical weekend look like?
To create harmony in a couple, you have to look for something in common. You don’t want to have a separate “stag party” and “bachelorette party” every weekend, do you? Or, even worse, fall asleep cuddling on the pillow while your beloved one is having all the fun somewhere? Shared interests are the key to developing relationships.
Do you believe in friendship between a man and a woman?
The answer to this question will reveal the true views of your soulmate — how close he/she has contact with the opposite sex. Prepare yourself, so you don’t faint later when all the girls/guys pile into your apartment for his/her birthday, a third of which are his/her exes.
What’s your love language?
That helps you understand him/her better. For example, some men/women have a hard time with words of love — they show love with real actions. For some, love is about providing your comfort. For another, it’s to always be there for you and support you. Knowing your partner’s love language, you will never doubt his/her feelings.
What’s your attitude towards kids?
This question is for those who have been in a relationship for a long time. Many people take for granted that entering into a family relationship says that the partner wants to have children. In fact, the situation may be the opposite. Besides, partners may dream of different numbers of children or have different ideas about raising them.
How do we deal with financial problems?
While in the West, spouses prefer to work together, in Slavic countries, there is an opinion that the woman may not work at all. This position can lead to a number of quarrels. For example, a wife wants to earn, and the husband is against it as he holds patriarchal views, or a woman wants to stay at home, and a husband disagrees with it because it’s challenging to provide for the whole family. So do not hesitate to discuss the issue.
Keep in mind that some questions may offend the person, so it’s better to integrate them into the general conversation. It’s important to remember that even a loved one can lie to us for some reason. Repeat the same questions at different intervals and in various formulations to detect inconsistencies in the answers. And don’t just ask your partner’s opinion, but share your own views on certain aspects of partner life as well.